Saturday, January 2, 2010

Joke, Joke, Joke

PUPIL: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot?
TEACHER: No! Definitely not! Kasi hangin lang yun!
Remember, hindi bumubukol ang utot...
PUPIL: Naku patay! Tae na to!

merong tatlong manliligaw...may nililigawan silang babae.pumunta sila sa bahay ng babae tapos nakita sila ng tatay ng babaeng liligawan nila.

tapos sabi nung tatay ng babae hoy kayong tatlong manliligaw sa anak ko....magdala kayo ng prutas bukas ng umaga... edi ayun.kinabukasan....ang unang manliligaw may dalang papaya.sabi nung tatay,kung mahal mo ang anak ko isoot mo yang papaya sa puwet mo.sinoout nya.naiyak.nagalit ang tatay..pinaalis..

dumating ang panglawang manliligaw...may dalang buko. sabi nung tatay.. kung mahal mo ang anak ko issot mo yang buko sa pwet mo..sinoot.tumatawa.. (e malaki nga yung buko at masakit issot sa puwet) natawa pa sya...


BAKIT???




kasi yung pangatlong manliligaw dala DURIAN.

BaKit d pUede maG sUot nG haIrneT aNg mGa kaLbo?

ANS: KasI maGmuMuka sLang MAGIC SING!!!!

A Few Things To Think About

1. Anger is a condition in which the tongue, works faster than the mind.

2. You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

3. Love ... and you shall be loved.

4. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.

5. All people smile in the same language.

6. A hug is a great gift, one size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and it's easy to exchange.

7. Everyone needs to be loved, especially when they do not deserve it.

8. The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity.

9. Laughter is God's sunshine.

10. Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.

11. It's important for parents to live the same things they teach.

12. Thank God for what you have, TRUST GOD for what you need.

13. If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for.

14. Happy memories never wear out... Relive them as often as you want.

15. Home is the place where we grumble the most, but are often treated the best.

16. Man looks at outward appearance but the Lord looks within.

17. The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow.

18. Take time to laugh for it is the music of the soul.

19. If anyone speaks badly of you, live so none will believe it.

20. Patience is the ability to idle your motor, when you feel like stripping your gears.

21. Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.

22. The best thing parents can do for their children, is to love each other.

23. Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts.

24. To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.

25. We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.

26. Love is the only thing that can be divided, without being diminished.

27. Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.

28. You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven.

29. For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.

30. Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are.

31.The best gifts to give:
To your friend, loyalty;
To your enemy, forgiveness;
To your boss, service;
To a child, a good example;
To your parents, gratitude and devotion;
To your mate, love and faithfulness;
To all men and women, charity;
and To God, your life.

Special Puppies

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. "Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck,
"These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his
pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.
"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would." With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands." With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy. "How much?" asked the little boy.

"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

What Is Love?

For those who misuse the word love, even kids have a better understanding than adults. A group of professional people posted this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds: "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

1. When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
Rebecca - age 8

2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths.
Billy - age 4

3. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving Cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Kari - age 5

4. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Chrissy - age 6

5. Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
Terri - age 4

6. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.
Danny - age 7

7. Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Emily - age 8

8. Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
Bobby - age 7

9. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.
Nikka - age 6

10. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.
Noelle - age 7

11. Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends, even after they know each other so well.
Tommy - age 6

12. My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
Clare - age 6

13. Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Chris - age 7

14. Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
Mary Ann - age 4

15. When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Karen - age 7

16. Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and doesn't think it's gross.
Mark - age 6

17. You really shouldn't say "I LOVE YOU" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
Jessica - age 8

And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man's yard and climbed on top of the man's lap and just sat there.

When the boy's mother asked him what he'd said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

Friday, October 23, 2009

Beauty Tips

A dear old lady was asked what she used to make her complexion so beautiful and her whole being so bright and attractive.

She answered:

"I use for my lips, truth


I use for my voice, kindness



I use for my ears, compassion



I use for my hands, charity



I use for my figure, uprightness



I use for my heart, love



I use for any who do not like me, prayer."

May 2010 Election Posters! lol xD